Carrots and Kids

{Autumn Round-Up}

If you've been blogging, or gardening for that matter, for more than a year you find yourself writing about and doing the same sort of things you've done before.

Which is lovely. I like the dependability of that. What I don't really enjoy so much is blogging about the same things. Well, I do a bit (obviously) but there are only so many times I'm going to photograph our sloe gin making process (once, in case you wondered).

So I'm going to round-up a few of my favourite autumnal posts that I've written here or on ReadyforTen:

• How to make sloe gin
• A blackberry vodka recipe
• How to make a heart out of rosehips
• A recipe for spiced pumpkin latte
• Create a nature table
• Creating woodland elves
• Make an autumnal mobile
• Gardening jobs for the family this autumn

Oh, I am feeling all autumnal now. If only the weather would play ball. Less wind and rain and more mellow, mistiness. Please.

{A Place of One's Own}

 

One of the surprising things about our recent visit to Queen Victoria's holiday retreat, Osborne House, was the beauty and space. The whole point, I think, of the place for Victoria and Albert was to escape the protocool and goldfish-bowl life being a royal entailed.

Victoria described it as "a place of one's own, quiet and retired" and that's exactly what the family got, a unique family home that managed to be opulent as well as cosy. I learnt all sorts of fascinating facts about her and also discovered that she loved being outdoors and spent a great deal of her time outside. You can even see her bathing machine, which she used at their private beach. Unfortunately, that can't be accessed now as the route to it is too overgrown but there are plans to remedy this.

 

Of course, the 342-acres at this Isle of Wight estate are quite different to what they would have been like in her day but they are still spectacular and some parts, like the walled kitchen garden and Swiss Cottage garden have been renovated to become more authentic after the estate's past duty as a convalescent home.

When she died, Victoria's son Albert decided he didn't want the home as it reminded him too much of his mother and handed it over to the state. Lucky for us but, really, unlucky for future royals.

One of the appealing things about it is that its managed by English Heritage which made for a much more relaxing visit than others we've experienced at National Trust properties. We were able to picnic anywhere so chose a spot high on a hill between the house and the view of the Solent.

But now, thinking about our visit, it's the terraces with their formal bedding that really stick out in my mind. These are dotted with statues Victoria and Albert collected. There is now a rather grand looking restaurant, perfect for a special meal I imagine, looking out on the bottom terrace.

Of course, I also loved the walled garden with its Victoria plums. Prince Albert rhubarb and glasshouses. There were fruit laden trees fanning the walls, arches with pears and apples plus lots of flowers which I imagine would have been used for the extravagant table arrangements.

I loved the small (well, actually rather large really) children's kitchen garden that has also been restored. There are hanging in Swiss Cottage a couple of miniature spades. All the children had their own, each initialled. Part of the ground floor of the cottage is a small tea room and nearby a lovely place filled with heavy teak furniture on which to sit outside and have a coffee.

You can do a Ring Walk around the whole of the estate but with Grandad, hot sun and two little ones (one of whom said it was "very very far for very very little legs to walk") I filed that away under Things To Do When We Are Older and The Children Have Left Home.

I was surprised, actually, at how big the grounds were. There are many trees in the pleasure garden that were planted by Victoria and Albert to commemorate birthdays and other important events and because it was so spacious it never felt remotely crowded.

There is also the famous Royal Myrtle, which I didn't see, but which has been included in royal bridal bouquets including Kate Middleton's. You can buy a small pot to take home which some people may find hard to resist...

{Forty Two Times Around The Sun}

Last weekend I celebrated completing my 42nd time around the sun. Which doesn't sound much but when you think we're lucky to perhaps circle the sun maybe 80-odd times it's quite sobering.

Once I was awake thanks to excited children, I descended the sparkle-strewn stairs and followed the trail into a Happy Birthday banner-bedecked kitchen which was also full of streamers and silly string. It's sort of a family tradition.

Luckily it was the weekend (which meant Hubby was home) so it did mean a more relaxing and fun day than I might ordinarily have had because we went on a Magical Mystery Tour (well, me and the little ones were the only three kept in the dark).

We caught a ferry to the Isle of Wight. I love that island. It's been the scene of many a happy holiday. Just standing on the deck, with the wind whistling through your hair makes you feel rejuvinated and relaxed.

This was a lovely day out because I didn't have to plan any of it. Nope. Not even the picnic. Which was a treat in itself. So where did we go? We visited Osborne House, Queen Victoria's holiday home at East Cowes.

Oh my! Despite our numerous trips to the IoW we've never squeezed a visit here before but it was well worth the wait. Not only did it give a fascinating glimpse into the family life of Victoria, Albert and their nine children but it's so beautiful.

The original Osborne House was demolished to make way for the Italian style home. The terraces were amazing, with stunning views of the Solent and Spinnaker Tower. Inside, it's so opulent you have to keep remindng yourself that it was a holiday home. I mean, they even had a room, albeit a small one, just for heating up plates! Imagine.

We saw the bed in which she died, her toilet and bath (plus shower) and laughed at the two tonne billiard table which was built a couple of inches taller so that Victoria, who was very small, didnt have to bend over to play, thereby avoiding showing off her ankles!

We marvelled at a statue placed in the upstairs landing of Albert that Victoria disliked because it showed too much skin (he was dressed as a Roman Emperor). She had another, more demure, one made. As you do.

But one of my favourite parts was Swiss Cottage, a pre-fabricated chalet that Albert had built for the children. Downstairs it housed a housekeeper and gardener plus their children but also a kitchen for the children.

Upstairs was a writing room and sitting room. It was in this small house the children cooked and entertained their parents. Outside they tended a vegetable garden, the produce of which was sold to Albert at the going rate.

It was his idea and a pretty clever one. He wanted the children to learn how to keep house, to cook and garden. He also wanted them to be good at something and according to one of the helpful guides he succeeded. Quite forward thinking of him, I reckon.

But while it was wonderful to marvel at, well, everything ("I absolooootely love this place" declared the six-year-old) it was quite sobering to think that children elsewhere weren't having fun playing house but shinning up chimneys.

Tomorrow I'll show you the wonderful gardens.

{Finding Moments of Calm}

It's hard to find them, those moments of calm in a busy life. But I've learnt a couple of ways to grab them in my fifteen years of being a parent.

For me it doesn't involve lots of nights out with the Husband, weekends away (yeah, three nights away in all of those years. I'm not going to say any more lest I get all bitter and twisted), play schemes or spa days.

And I'm not saying any of this in a "gosh, what a fabulous person I am" kind of way because, believe me, if any of the above were remotely in my grasp I would be clutching them and holding on for dear life.

But necessity is the mother of invention so what I've invented for me is a different kind of attitude. It's not easy but it's doable. First off you just have to nurture the attitude of spotting potential moments, no matter how small, and thanking your lucky stars.

Then you have to let that moment of calm seep into every pore. Milk it for all you're worth. And yes, I do know what it's like to have toddlers, older children, babies under feet and no sign of any other adult for at least another eight hours. If that's your reality, I feel your tiredness.

So when, yesterday, I was able to leave the children very briefly in the car (it wasn't remotely warm, in fact I think autumn arrived) to quickly visit a health food shop I felt myself relax.

Even when my five-year-old told me that 15 minutes was the most fun out of the whole day. Even more fun apparently than a train ride to the sea and watching Horrid Henry The Movie (which I really enjoyed, much more than I thought I would). Yep, deep breaths. Let that calm sink in...

PS. Apologies for the general reply to your very generous comments (it seems I either have time to write posts or replies at the moment) but I wanted to say a big thank you for leaving me such lovely words. I feel emboldened now to write the posts here that I really want, rather than not really writing at all. I know it doesn't matter in the slightest, really, what this blog is about but somehow it sort of mattered to me. And I felt that unless I was posting about gardening I couldn't post. Silly, I know. But thank you (and yes, someone did unsub!).

This

It's nearly 10.30am on the first day of August and I'm sitting at the kitchen table, with wet hair after my shower. The french doors are open and I'm surrounded by the debris of breakfast (in some people's cases two breakfasts). Only I possess the superpower of taking dirty crockery and cutlery to the sink...

A small child plays at my feet, another is fighting his sister on the sofa. One teen is creating in her bedroom and another has come foraging for more food.

It has taken me two hours to get the laptop to this stage of blogging readiness. Now I remember why I haven't opened it for two weeks. If it was a dog we'd be taking it to the vets for a long sleep by now.

A timer, put on by my five-year-old, has just rung and I've been told that's my internet time over.

This. This is my life right now.

A Bit of a Blogging Crossroads

I am finding it increasingly hard to blog. Obviously life is very busy, pretty much all of the time. I haven't fallen out of love with my blog, writing, taking photos or publishing them. But I dunno...I can see how easy it would be never to type here again.

Still, I shall persevere. My husband says "why would you give it up after all your work?" and I just shrug. I am lazy. Maybe that's the problem.

There's also the fact that now lots of real life people are aware of my online activities (not that they're anything to be ashamed of!) and that has a kind of muffling affect on me.

Plus, and here's where I'm lazy, I want to get rid of all "shoulds" in my life. Not of the human kind but commitments. I have in my mind September as the month when I shall be free, although I may be confusing this with the fact that I won't have a motorised school run to do. Yippee! We shall walk, every day, in all weathers.

I want to make changes, live life a bit differently. Perhaps even blog about that, in a new place. Although heaven knows I can't manage to post regularly here.

So while I ponder I leave you with some photos of our half-term. Because, really, it's all I've got.

Family Sundays :: Walking With Children

Quite often I feel like I'd just like to hit the "pause" button on everyone and everything and while they're all in suspended animation I can just take a breather and have a Think. As it is I have to do my thinking while keeping up with them all.

And what I have managed to come up with is that family time in this house is being eroded. Oh, sure, we're all here doing stuff at the weekend but not doing fun stuff together. And quite often we're not all here (birthday parties on Sundays? Urgh).

So I've decided, as CEO of the southern branch of the Webbers, to make more time for simple (ie cheap) family activities. And, of course, living in the South Downs National Park this basically means going for more family walks.

I've bought a book on family walks in our neck of the woods because, despite owning an OS map and living here for yonks, sometimes you can't see the wood for the trees so to speak. In the end, we set off fully intending to follow one walk and then choosing our own route. Yeah, I guess sometimes you just need a little, actual, nudge in the right direction.

I absolutely loved this walk. It took in woodland, hills (just a slight incline), fields and views. It was perfect, not too long (although that didn't stop the whingeing).

Even though we were only about four miles from home, I omitted to bring any cake. Or drinks. Next time I will, even if we're just a stone's throw away. Because, as I had forgotten, a bit of cake can do wonders for mini walkers who get a bit moany.

We picked elderflowers ::

We investigated what cuckoo spit really is ::

Photographed views (my heart sang that two of the children took their cameras too) ::

We took a rest ::

And found hidden away stiles::

And we found some precious family time.

:: You may have noticed I have a new badge in the sidebar -> Yes! I'm a finalist in the photography category of The MAD Awards! Thank you so much if you nominated me, as ever I really didn't think I'd get anywhere. There's stiff competition and I have no expectations but if you enjoy my photographs and would like to vote for Carrots and Kids please click on the badge. Or here. Thanks (again). xxx

Earth Day and a Pink Batman

A rather hot and sweaty pint-sized Batman appeared at the back door yesterday. "Phew," he said, "I'm tired." His dad asked what had he been doing out in the garden with his sister to make him so tired?

"Well, we've been busy looking after the world," Batman replied.

Which is, when you think about it, quite hard work. No wonder he was tired. Plus, he still had his shorts and t-shirt on under his bat suit. He did look a bit pink, underneath his freckles.

That's the thing isn't it? Looking after the world is second nature to Batman and his alter-ego, a four-year-old boy. While they need to expend some energy, make some effort to do so, really it's natural. As natural as breathing.

And that's why I'm not going overboard about Earth Day. I mean, thinking about the planet, our individual eco-systems contained on our plots, trying to ensure we don't do any harm, to nurture what in turn nurtures us, that's what people who garden do. Every single day.

I'm sure that's what you all do, or try to, or make plans to at some point in the future once you get a garden or allotment. Anyway, there are a myriad ways in which to look after the planet.

In my job as a freelance writer I have talked about ways to recycle in the garden, looking after wildlife, great flowers and veggies to grow with children. Yesterday I was on the BBC gardening blog talking about gardening with children.

Here at Carrots, I think of it as my garden and if you happen to peek in you may see me gardening with the children, reading a book or stuffing cake in my mouth (most probably the latter). And what you do see is just a small portion of what goes on.

We're just doing what comes naturally here, on Earth Day and every day.

We're Growing Snakes

My children aren't spoilt but there are two things I will happily throw money on if they ask - books and gardening stuff. The latter is mostly seeds so I'm hardly pushing the boat out.

I haven't bought many seeds for myself this year; I have lots from last year and I'm all about the budget now. Although I'm hoping my husband won't read that last bit as he'll probably die laughing.

But on a recent garden centre trip for the school gardening club I spied some seeds that I knew my four-year-old would love. Gourds that grow into a snake shape.

He's a bloodthirsty little beggar (always first on the scene if someone's hurt themselves asking "Is there any blood?") and loves creatures that are not cute cuddly kitten (although he does love those too) so I knew these would be a hit.

It was lovely planting them in the warm greenhouse with him yesterday. He listened and pushed them in on their sides, after we'd laughed at their funny shape.

My only worry, given my rather feeble track record with such plants, is that they won't grow or produce the snake-like gourd. There were six seeds in the pack so, assuming they all grow, I reckon one for a veggie patch at home, three for the allotment and two for large containers.

I do think garden centres miss a trick sometimes. Think how many seedlings of these ornamental gourds they could sell to other equally doting, green-fingered parents. I'd buy a couple, just for insurance purposes.

The Thoughts of An Invisible Mother

I was having a delightful Mothering Sunday yesterday full of home-made cards and gifts until I read that I am apparently invisible, exhausted and not someone people want to talk to.

Blimey. That's news to me. And put me firmly in my place.

Where did I read this lovingly written article about stay-at-home mothers (awful phrase but there you go)? The Sunday Times Style magazine (which you'll have to pay Murdoch £1 to read online) so really, it's my own fault.

Still, I wanted to see what "squeezed middle mothers" (whatever they are) are currently feeling guilty about. Their crap parenting, if I've read it correctly. But it's OK because, according to one, she could never be a full-time mother anyway.

Special Mothers

Artist Helen Steele really respects those "special" women who do though. I don't wish to appear over sensitive nor to turn this into a working v home mother fight but I always feel such compliments to be back-handed.

When working mums say "oh I could never stay at home all the time, hats off to you" the message I get is "oh I'm so intelligent I'd get bored staying home all the time, but well done you-not-so-clever-thing you".

Kirsty Young, the silken voice of Desert Island Discs, feels sympathy for full-time mothers (another awful name) as they apparently become invisible and "someone people wouldn't necessarily want to strike up a conversation with". Good grief. Really?

Tough Love

The author of this delightful piece, Clover Stroud, recounted a story that, had it been me, I'd have shut up about. Her son's school rang her to say he was sick but she, being ultra busy and successful, was on her way to a meeting and "snapped back that unless he actually couldn't stand up, he'd just have to tough it out".

What a lucky son.

Endless Love

But hold on a minute - Clover wants the kind of mothering I do (and which she doesn't) to be recognised with "heroic accolades". Well, that's all right then. This kind of mother, according to her, wears practical shoes she can run in (how predictable), is totally selfless, incredibly patient and endlessly loving.

"Being a full-time mother means always being there, always putting yourself last and always being exhausted," she writes.

So, if you're to believe this garbage, you're either a rather rubbish working mum who is too busy to collect her sick child from school and when you are together you're too busy checking your Blackberry or you're some sort of boring, dowdy, perfect mum.

How utterly convenient.

What I think you are, whether you're a mum who works inside or outside the home, is someone who is trying her best (even if it does suck a bit), who is either interesting or dull (depending on personality and interests) and who creates her own reality.

And what I'd like is not public recognition or "heroic accolades" for what I do but for women to stop writing divisive and belittling articles such as this one and write the truth instead.