Yesterday I went for my customary early morning visit to the allotment. Not as early as normal (I just couldn't get out of bed, it was chilly, not very light) but still early enough for me to be on my own. I'm hoping not, but I think it might be my last such visit of the season.
As ever I pottered. I'm sure most allotmenteers would be horrified at my work rate. There was much looking, planning (if I keep that bed free I can do potatoes next year, have to remember to keep it free though...) and coffee drinking.
I did manage to clear some bits and sow some oriental salad and some winter lettuce. I forgot the winter onion sets (again) and didn't have the heart to strip away my beans and sweet peas or the courgette plants that I think have finished.
Going up at that time has been scoffed at (are you mad?) but it's a no brainer: it clears my mind, affords me peace and solitude, allows me to work without impinging on family time. I get back at 9am, having detoured past the village shop for papers and seven pain au chocolates.
Sometimes I think this is so unlike a gardening blog. No wonderful tips, ideas, to-do lists. Just me waxing lyrical about the allotment, which probably comes across as smug seeing as most people aren't lucky enough to have one.
Then I think, no - I am not going to stop celebrating it, nature, my wonder at actually managing to grow something (more than something, this has been my best year EVER). People don't have to read me if they don't want. I've got caught up in lots of blogging "shoulds" just lately, ranging from liking that fellow gardening blogger (too competitive), strategies to get more recognition and readers (totally joyless) to what I should blog (creating blogger's block). No more.
So - more waxing. As I stood gazing and photographing my sunflower (it looked amazing against the gorgeous blue sky) I felt full of......bliss. So happy. Funny how a simple thing you grew from a small seed can have that effect on you.
And the feeling's lasted. I am not known for being a happy driver, all my grumpiness is magnified once inside that metal box (what are you doing, come on, oh just go, thank you Mr Ignorant and so it goes on). As I came down the steps a posse? bevvy? troop? of lycra-clad cyclists whirred by.
It made me happy to see others out enjoying their hobbies on an early Sunday morning. Getting fresh air, exercise, quiet (apart from the whirring), feeling quite a bit alive. It took me a while to get home, stopping as I did to let them all pass.There were hundreds. A few said thanks but they were in a minority.
And I didn't matter one bit. I realise that just lately I've not felt quite like this. But I'm glad I do. All thanks to one sunflower.